Why You Don’t Have a Motivation Problem—You Have a Permission Problem
The Lie of “Just Try Harder”
How many times have you told yourself: If I could just get motivated, everything would fall into place?
That’s what hustle culture, diet culture, and toxic positivity all want you to believe: that the problem is you. That if you can’t push harder, it’s a flaw in your character.
But here’s the truth—you don’t have a motivation problem. You have a permission problem.
Why Motivation Culture Fails Us
Motivation culture tells us:
Wake up earlier.
Work harder.
Be more disciplined.
Just want it badly enough.
But what if you’re already exhausted from trying to live up to everyone else’s rules?
What if the reason you can’t get motivated is because the goal you’re pushing toward doesn’t actually belong to you?
Motivation runs dry when it’s built on expectations that aren’t aligned with your values.
What Permission Really Looks Like
Permission is saying:
“I’m allowed to rest without earning it.”
“I’m allowed to want something different than what my family or society expects of me.”
“I don’t need to shrink myself to make others comfortable.”
Permission is the foundation that makes motivation sustainable. Without it, motivation turns into guilt and burnout.
Giving Yourself Permission in Real Life
So what does this look like outside of therapy-talk?
Instead of “I should work out more,” → “I give myself permission to move in ways that feel good today.”
Instead of “I need to push through this awful job,” → “I give myself permission to imagine work that actually respects me.”
Instead of “I should be more positive,” → “I give myself permission to feel angry about what’s unfair—and use that anger as fuel for change.”
The Shift: From Stuck to Aligned
When you stop blaming yourself for a so-called motivation problem and start practicing permission, you create space for clarity, energy, and action. Motivation stops being about force and starts being about alignment.
And that’s where real, lasting change begins.
If you’re tired of beating yourself up for not being “motivated enough,” therapy can help you rewrite the rules. Together we can uncover what you actually want, give you the tools to claim it, and practice the kind of permission that makes change feel possible.
