Why You Feel Stuck (and How to Untangle What You Really Want)
Do you ever feel like you’re just spinning your wheels in life? You know something feels off — but no matter how much you analyze, make pros and cons lists, or vent to friends, the clarity just isn’t coming.
Feeling stuck doesn’t mean you’re lazy, broken, or incapable. It usually means you’ve been carrying around too many “shoulds” and expectations — from family, work, culture, or the world at large — and they’ve tangled together so tightly that it’s hard to hear your own voice underneath it all.
Why We Get Stuck
Most of the people I work with are folks who’ve spent years trying to live up to what’s expected of them: be the reliable one, the high achiever, the peacemaker, the one who keeps it all together. Over time, all of those roles pile up. And then one day, you look around and think: Wait… what do I actually want?
Common reasons you might feel stuck:
You’re carrying the weight of other people’s expectations.
You’ve been running on autopilot for so long you’ve lost touch with what lights you up.
You’re trying to please everyone else and end up losing yourself in the process.
You’ve learned to ignore or downplay your anger, sadness, or frustration — which are often signs pointing toward your deeper needs.
Signs You’re Stuck in “Shoulds”
Saying yes when you want to say no — and then feeling resentful afterward.
Sitting in your car replaying conversations, wishing you’d spoken up.
Feeling guilty when you rest, even when you’re exhausted.
Struggling to make decisions because you don’t want to let anyone down.
If these sound familiar, you’re not alone. Feeling stuck is usually a sign that your inner compass is still there — it’s just buried under too much noise.
How to Start Untangling
Getting unstuck doesn’t happen overnight, but here are a few gentle steps you can try right now:
Name Your “Shoulds.” Write down five things you feel you “should” do this week. Then write down five things you want to do. Notice the difference in energy between the two lists.
Listen to Your Anger. Instead of pushing it away, ask: What is this anger trying to tell me about what I need?
Practice Micro-Decisions. Start with small choices — like what you want for lunch or how you spend 10 free minutes. It builds trust with yourself.
Try on a Permission Slip. Rest, say no, or take up space — and remind yourself that you don’t need to earn it.
It Takes Two to Untangle (You Don’t Have to Untangle Alone)
Therapy can be a space to sort through the noise, peel back expectations, and reconnect with what you truly want. My clients often come in feeling stuck, exhausted, or unsure — and leave sessions with more clarity, practical tools, and a renewed sense of possibility.
You deserve to feel less tangled and more like yourself again.
